Stair Park is having an absolute meltdown. The thermometer has hit an amzing 16°C and has turned it into what groundskeepers are now calling “a bit warm, actually.”

The pitch, usually a proud stretch of green, is reacting like it’s been dropped into the Sahara. The grass has stopped growing out of protest, the goalmouth resembles a lightly toasted crumpet, and the halfway line looks like it’s reconsidering its life choices. Even the corner flags seem to be wilting, leaning over as if asking for a nice cup of tea and a lie down.

Players aren’t coping much better. Warm-ups now consist of standing still and fanning themselves with the match programme. The referee has been spotted checking the forecast every three minutes, just in case this tropical nightmare escalates to 17°C. Substitutes, meanwhile, are treating the bench like a sunbathing deck, despite the complete absence of actual sunshine.

The groundskeeper has taken decisive action—watering the pitch twice, muttering darkly about “unprecedented conditions,” and blaming southern softies for bringing this kind of heat north.

If this continues, Stair Park may need to be reclassified as a dry climate training facility. Or, at the very least, invest in an ice cream van. Worst case is we will have to move NORTH?!?!@!

"Are Stranraer " still the greatest " though Andrew, 5 minutes in to every match ?"

......yes, undoubtedly after 5mins......at 90 minutes though is still work in progress........

......off to the victory parade this evening! Poxy cup but we will take it. Proper Champions League stuff next season, so looking forward to the real victory parade in 2027! In other news, SRA's parade has been postponed until next season (for the 60th time in a row).

.....almost forgot to put them in......no, wait.....we seem to be missing from the draw somehow?!?!

It was mentioned last night that the new big six are (in no particular order). Arsenal, Man City, Man Utd, Villa, Liverpool and Villa reserves........I'm not sure now about Liverpool though.....perhaps Bournemouth??

Buzzzing last night :-)  Stunning evening in Brum! Champions league next season!

This would make them the most northern professional club in the UK. From Stair Park (also in League Two)  that is a 6:21 drive (according to Google Map). That makes Banbury in Oxfordshire nearer at just 6:20. 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cqxp2p8d4dyo