Well, 6 more points are 6 more points ...

#26: DEE vs HEA 1-0

Dundee FC proudly present: the art of winning ugly. Hearts arrived with a six‑man backline, apparently auditioning for a medieval fortress reenactment. They produced exactly zero shots, which is quite an achievement if you think about it — perfect consistency! We, meanwhile, spent 77 minutes politely knocking on their door until Nicky Riley finally slipped the key under the mat. One goal, three points, and another clean sheet for our collection. The Jam Tarts can boast about hitting the bar once, but we’ll happily keep the scoreboard. Top of the table, still marching, still stingy at the back. Irony of the day: Hearts defended all night, only to lose to the one man they couldn’t mark.

#27: DEV vs DEE 1-3

Dundee marched into Deveronvale like benevolent executioners, politely gifting the hosts a lesson in futility. Javier Artero, apparently allergic to mercy, struck twice before halftime, while Josh Meekings added a header just to prove defenders can score too. By the break it was 3–0, and the Blues switched to cruise control. Vale eventually clawed back a consolation through Gab Riella, but it felt more like charity than comeback. Final whistle: 3–1. Man of the Match? Artero, naturally. Dundee’s takeaway: why settle for dominance when you can sprinkle irony — winning comfortably while pretending it was a fair fight.