No surprises, carrying on ...

#33: ALB vs DEE 0-1

Albion Rovers bravely tried to turn football into a game of “how many saves can George Kittle make”, while Dundee politely dominated every statistic except the scoreboard. Shot after shot, Albion’s keeper played superhero, but even comic books end eventually. 
Enter Steven Caulker in the 90th minute, who decided enough was enough and smashed the ball into the roof of the net — because someone had to. 
Final score: Dundee 1, Albion 0. Albion complained of “highway robbery”, which is ironic considering Dundee spent 90 minutes knocking on the door while Albion padlocked it shut. In the end, the lock broke, and Dundee walked off with three points, a smirk, and the league lead intact.

#34: DEE vs HAM 5-0

We graciously hosted Hamilton Accies for what was supposed to be a football match, but turned into a masterclass in how not to defend. After a polite goalless first half, we decided to stop being modest: Riley opened the floodgates, Artero thundered one in, Fatello joined the fun, and Caulker — clearly bored — scored twice just to remind everyone he exists. 
Final score: 5–0. Shots on target? Us: seven. Them: zero. Yes, zero. Our keeper could’ve brought a deckchair. Man of the Match? Obviously Caulker, though honestly the whole team deserves medals for patience. 
Dundee marches on at the top, while Hamilton… well, let’s just say they contributed generously to our goal difference.