Well, 6 more points are 6 more points ...

#26: DEE vs HEA 1-0

Dundee FC proudly present: the art of winning ugly. Hearts arrived with a six‑man backline, apparently auditioning for a medieval fortress reenactment. They produced exactly zero shots, which is quite an achievement if you think about it — perfect consistency! We, meanwhile, spent 77 minutes politely knocking on their door until Nicky Riley finally slipped the key under the mat. One goal, three points, and another clean sheet for our collection. The Jam Tarts can boast about hitting the bar once, but we’ll happily keep the scoreboard. Top of the table, still marching, still stingy at the back. Irony of the day: Hearts defended all night, only to lose to the one man they couldn’t mark.

#27: DEV vs DEE 1-3

Dundee marched into Deveronvale like benevolent executioners, politely gifting the hosts a lesson in futility. Javier Artero, apparently allergic to mercy, struck twice before halftime, while Josh Meekings added a header just to prove defenders can score too. By the break it was 3–0, and the Blues switched to cruise control. Vale eventually clawed back a consolation through Gab Riella, but it felt more like charity than comeback. Final whistle: 3–1. Man of the Match? Artero, naturally. Dundee’s takeaway: why settle for dominance when you can sprinkle irony — winning comfortably while pretending it was a fair fight.

Let's skip the midweek cup disaster.
Straight to the weekend - much more enjoyable ...

#23: DEE vs STJ 3-1

We strutted onto the pitch like kings, only to spend 45 minutes blasting shots straight at their keeper — as if we were rehearsing his highlight reel. Finally, Konrad remembered the point of football and scored. Second half? Pure theatre: Meekings and Caulker made it 3–0, Burns decided red cards are fashionable, and suddenly we were playing with ten men. St. Johnstone even sneaked one in, just to keep it interesting. Final whistle: 3–1. We call it dominance; they call it damage limitation. Either way, the league table still bows to Dundee.

#24: RAN vs DEE 0-2

Rangers’ grand plan was simple: defend deep, pass sideways, and hope Dundee got bored. Spoiler: we didn’t. Dias gifted us the opener, Artero obliged, and suddenly Rangers were chasing shadows. Butland spent the evening auditioning for “Most Heroic Goalkeeper in a Losing Cause”, diving everywhere while his teammates perfected the art of not shooting. Konrad’s late strike sealed the inevitable, leaving Rangers to claim they “kept it respectable.” Final score: 0–2. They call it resilience; we call it Dundee dominance. The only thing Rangers won was a quiet night for our keeper.