#9: BIB vs FCB 0-1

From the volcanic terraces of Monster Island, BIB lumbered onto the pitch like titans disguised as footballers. We unleashed our future mega‑sized strikers — creatures so vast they cast shadows longer than the referee’s whistle. 
Yet somehow, Sheffield’s mere mortals survived. Our 30‑yard thunderbolts rattled the bar, our headers shook the stadium foundations, but the ball refused to obey giants. Then, irony struck: Baldock, a man scarcely taller than our bootlaces, nodded in the winner. Final score: Micronesia’s monsters 0, Sheffield’s mortals 1. 
The crowd expected a kaiju‑sized feast of goals; instead they got a diet portion of irony. 
Beware — next time our forwards will have grown another few meters, and the crossbar won’t be spared.

Bournemouth

Chelsea