Glenn Manning (aka The Amazing Colossal Man) on the matches:

#26: SXS vs BIB 1–4

“Uh… yeah… we win big today. Four‑one. Very nice. Me feel happy. Me run a lot on left side, make zoom‑zoom. One time ball come to me and I shoot but keeper catch it. Then later I take big touch into box… maybe too big… keeper almost get ball but I poke it first, chip it… he touch it with finger, grrr.

Coach say ‘good job Manning, you make space.’ I like space. Space is big. Brain not big but space big.

Team score many goals. Mechagodzilla smash. Logi smash. Possie smash. Me try smash too. Maybe next time.

But win is win. Me proud. Me go eat now.”

#29: BIB vs PEX 3–0

“Uh… me feel real good today. We win 3‑0. Me score two goals, yes yes. First goal early when me shoot low through legs and ball go in corner. Crowd go ‘yaaay’ and me smile big.

Then later me shoot again and score second goal. Coach say ‘good job Glenn,’ and me like praise. Praise feel warm in brain.

One time Mechagodzilla give me ball but keeper save it. Me try again later, run fast, but me hit post and ball bounce back to keeper. Post is mean.

Team play good. Koning score too. Defense strong. Monsters strong.

Me happy. Me hungry. Me go eat now.”

Lisburn City finally cracked open the Maestros, but only after spending much of the evening making Merrylee goalkeeper The Fort look like a man auditioning for superhero duties.

The visitors arrived with attacking ambitions apparently left on the team bus, failing to muster a single shot all game. Lisburn dominated from start to finish and should have been ahead before the break, with Jim Murray and Johnny Crossan both denied by the inspired Fort.

The breakthrough came three minutes into the second half when Jim Murray hooked the ball on and Jeremy Doku bravely headed home from close range. From then on it became the Andy McDonald Deckchair Appreciation Society, as The Fort produced save after save to keep the score respectable.

Crossan went close repeatedly, Aaron Cochrane added fresh energy, and Bernardo Silva marshalled the rare Maestros advances with authority.

A deserved three points and a clean sheet, though The Fort ensured the scoreline looked far tighter than the match itself.

Quote of the day:

“If The Fort had been any stronger, we’d have needed planning permission to break him down.” 😄

We started with a home game against Matt's Camelot,a quality side with good firepower up front and free scoring,we opted for a 5-3-2 normal but more on the defensive side hoping to grind out a point or more as they went for their usual 4-2-4 early ball, game on and nothing in it for the 1st half as both defences stood firm,2nd half subs on and we broke the deadlock on 52 minutes when Ryan Brobbel slotted home 1-0 and he fired home his 2nd on 84 minutes 2-0,Camelot upped their pace and a quick cross found an unmarked Stafford who powered home his header 2-1,we held out in a close game where we just edged the shot count 5 to 3,well played Matt.

Next we travelled to Mark's Golden Dragons,always a tough place to play at,they opted for a 4-3-3 normal as we again for a more defensive 5-3-2 normal hoping to pinch a cheeky point,game on and they were controlling the midfield area as we could not retain any possession for any length of time and they opened the scoring on 27 minutes when an unmarked McInnes headed home 1-0,half time soon came and subs on ,we tried to play ourselves back into the game but could not find a way through a stubborn defence and they sealed the game on 66 minutes when some slick passing saw Lifeson slip through and slot home 2-0,they outplayed us for periods and outshot us 6 to 2,well played Mark.

So a 3 point weekend sees us sit 12th ,not good in that relegation area.

Ye Olde Spurs have now gone eight matches without scoring a single goal, our worst run ever. In midweek we kicked off with the Dowson cup game against Lisburn City. The game was fairly close and ended goalless so into penalty's. We had man of the match Parks SL31 in goal and City had SL17 Carson. No surprise, we lost three nil. Then yesterday's game at home against Gotham City Knights FC. Again an even game with few chances which finished goalless. Then today we traveled to play league leaders Dundee Broncos. We got overrun and lost three nil, to drop down to second bottom. "A goal, a goal. My kingdom for a goal!"

Lisburn City suffered a miserable afternoon in Sheffield as two goals inside the opening six minutes left the Distillers chasing shadows. Epic Stan-Lee put the Bulldogs ahead after just 60 seconds before Rapid Jim doubled the lead almost immediately, exposing a shaky visiting defence.

Carl Oakes’ side never really recovered. Johnny Crossan and Jim Murray were well marshalled, while goalkeeper Hands Save lived up to his name, denying the few chances that came Lisburn’s way. Nicolăs Otamendi and John Heron fought gamely at the back, with Andy McDonald making four saves to prevent an even heavier defeat.

Changes at the interval improved matters, but any hopes of a comeback vanished when Stan-Lee headed home his second on 69 minutes.

Adding insult to injury, both Gareth Barry and Johnny Crossan picked up bookings that rule them out of the next match.

“We started like we’d arrived at Bramall Lane by carrier pigeon and spent the rest of the afternoon trying to remember where we’d parked the team bus.” – A weary Carl Oakes.

For 88 minutes Lisburn City and Ye Olde Spurs served up the footballing equivalent of two heavyweight boxers circling each other while refusing to throw a proper punch. Spurs enjoyed the better first half, but Scott Carson produced three excellent saves and had a helping hand from Glyn Pardoe, whose interventions repeatedly rescued the visitors.

Managerial changes at the break transformed the Distillers. Bernardo Silva steadied the defence while Aaron Cochrane and Johnny Crossan injected life into the attack. Cochrane twice went close and Damien Kelly forced Tony Parks into a fine save, but the veteran keeper stood firm to earn man of the match.

With nothing separating the sides after ninety minutes, the drama moved to penalties. There, Carson became the hero. He saved efforts from Mathys Tel, Glenn Hoddle and Xavi Simons, while Crossan, Jeremy Doku and Cochrane all kept their nerve. A 3-0 shootout triumph sent Lisburn through after a tense stalemate.

Quote of the day:

“Scott Carson only had three saves to make all evening. He just decided to make them twice.” 😄

More views from the stands:

#25: DUB vs BIB 3–0

Oh, absolutely fantastic performance today. Really. I mean, who doesn’t love going down to ten men after sixty seconds? It’s bold, it’s innovative, it’s the kind of tactical creativity you simply can’t teach. And then the lads followed it up beautifully by offering Dublin a guided tour of our penalty area for the rest of the match. Inspirational stuff. Our attack? Oh, magnificent — if the goal had been located somewhere in the parking lot, we might’ve scored three. And the club will tell us this is all part of the ‘long‑term vision’. Sure. If the vision is to give every supporter a slow emotional breakdown, then yes, mission accomplished.

#26: BIB vs MT 3–1

I swear, being a BIB supporter should come with hazard pay. We go down 0:1 after five minutes because Olsson apparently decided to cosplay a garden gnome. One shot from MT all game and of course it goes in. Then Logi wakes up from his seasonal hibernation, remembers he’s built like a medieval siege tower, and suddenly scores twice like it’s nothing. Mechagodzilla adds a third, probably because gravity felt generous. And still, every MT counterattack made my soul leave my body. How can a team this gigantic play with the emotional stability of a wet paper bag. Three points, yes — but at what psychological cost.

We travelled to Carl's Lisburn city(always a tough place to get a result at)they opted for a 4-2-4 early ball and looked to have some handy firepower as we went for a 4-3-3 normal, both sides started well and enjoyed lots of possession but we opened the scoring on 18 minutes when Jordan Williams fired home from a rebound 0-1,25 minutes and we were all square as Murray powered home his header 1-1,half time soon came and subs on ,they put on some hungry high profile strikers and upped their tempo,46 minutes and Doku fired home 2-1,64 minutes and Crossing fired home 3-1,58 minutes and Kelly slotted home 4-1 and Cochrane sealed the game on 65 minutes when he powered home his header 5-1 in an even game of 6 shots each ,McDonald in their goal was in outstanding form with 4 saves ,well played Carl,some serious players you have there.

Ye Olde Spurs have now failed to score in their last five matches after three further blanks this week. We started with a SFLSL cup game against FC Blades. We had the only two chances of the game but it ended goalless so onto penalties. Ten taken and only one converted by Tel, so we won by a single goal. Yesterday we kicked off with a home game with Sheffield Rovers. Again we had more chances but conceded on 65 minutes and lost one nil. The second game was a visit to Merrylee Maestros who sat bottom. No surprise when the game finished goalless. We currently sit eleventh and are struggling.

For 45 minutes, this looked like a proper contest. By full-time, it looked as though Lisburn City had accidentally wandered into a shooting practice session.

The New Saints started brightly and deservedly took the lead when Jordan Williams coolly chipped Andy McDonald after racing onto a through ball. The Distillers responded through Jim Murray, whose towering header restored parity and sent the sides in level at the break.

Then came the avalanche.

Jeremy Doku’s outrageous cross-cum-shot somehow bounced in off the woodwork to put Lisburn ahead before Johnny Crossan unleashed a thunderbolt three minutes later. Damien Kelly pounced after Nathan Shepherd spilled another Doku effort, and Aaron Cochrane’s powerful header completed a devastating four-goal burst in just 19 second-half minutes.

The scoreline could easily have been even worse were it not for a few desperate defensive interventions from the Welsh visitors.

Andy McDonald earned Man of the Match with four important saves, while Doku, Cochrane and Crossan tore the Saints apart after the interval. The New Saints arrived as favourites on paper, but left looking as if they’d taken a wrong turn and wandered into a hurricane.

Quote of the Day:
“At half-time we discussed a few tactical tweaks. We didn’t realise one of them involved turning Jeremy Doku into a guided missile.” – Lisburn dressing room source. 😄

Lisburn City’s afternoon in the orchard turned into a rotten harvest as Orchard Park Thistle handed the Distillers a bruising 4-0 defeat.

The warning signs were there early. Andy McDonald produced a superb block-saving intervention through Gary Wray’s desperate defending before Eric Jones headed the hosts in front after 17 minutes. Any hopes of a comeback were effectively torpedoed eight minutes later when Tommy McCracken lost his cool, swung an elbow at Jones and was shown a straight red card.

Down to ten men, Lisburn fought gamely but rarely threatened. Jones struck again on the hour mark before substitute Captain Scotland added a third seven minutes later. Joe Douglass completed the rout late on after another flowing Orchard Park move.

Johnny Crossan battled hard in midfield and Andy McDonald made three saves, but Lisburn managed just a single shot on target all afternoon. The statistics told a grim tale as Orchard Park outshot the visitors 8-1.

Man of the Match: Eric Jones, whose two goals and commanding display ran the show from start to finish.

Quote of the Day: “The team bus got sent off after 25 minutes too… it just hadn’t received the paperwork yet.” 🚍😖

Midweek cup game in the SFLSL and we has drawn Sergei's ORA(not our best side to play against)they are always strong and hungry for silverware,and such firepower that some teams only dream of,we opted for a 4-4-2 opportunistic as they went for their normal 4-2-4 early ball,game on and they started as they meaned to carry on and had lots of possession but our defense was standing firm ,when we did manage some possession it was deep in our own half and we could not retain it for any length of time ,half time came and subs on we carried on defending for much of the half but they finally broke the deadlock on 83 minutes when Osula headed home 1-0 and they sealed the game on 88 minutes when Valdez fired home 2-0,we were totally outplayed and outshot 13 to 0 ,only Shepherd in our goal with 8 outstanding saves kept us in it,well played Sergei and best of luck in the cup.

Midweek league game at home and you guessed it ORA came to town,we changed tactics and opted for a 4-3-3 normal as they went fir their normal 4-2-4 early ball,game on and we were much more in the game than midweek and having more possession but the 1st half belonged to the defence, 2nd half subs on ,we pushed on but couldn't find a way through the stubborn defence, we were outplayed for long periods and outshot 5 to 2 as it ended 0-0, but yet again Shepherd in our goal was in outstanding form with 5 saves ,well played Sergei. 

So a point at home to ORA not a bad start to the weekend.