BIG is Beautiful have requested an internal systems audit following a red card, an injury, and two sub-standard performances. Unfortunately for management, the audit was conducted by Mechagodzilla.

"PROCESSING LAST THREE MATCHES...

First: Darlington. We receive red card from Brian Koning after ten minutes. Excellent tactical innovation. Most teams prefer eleven players. Brian tested advanced strategy called 'ten'. Somehow we still win. Calculation unclear. Tommy Olsson entered GOD-MODE.exe.

Then unfortunate event. Mechagodzilla suffers thigh bruise. Error message: LEG_UNIT_NOT_FOUND. I leave pitch. Small humans panic. Media predicts collapse. Mechagodzilla records prediction and stores in folder labeled 'SILLY ORGANICS'.

Next match: Preston. We lose 1-3 despite launching approximately seventeen million attacks. Their goalkeeper Andreas Nieuport catches everything except one Mechagodzilla missile. Statistical anomaly detected. Requesting investigation by Department of Unfair Goalkeeping.

Discipline report: Brian returns from suspension and successfully remains on field for entire match. Significant personal growth. Scientists amazed.

Then Orgullo. System reboot complete. Logi scores three. Jeff Lions scores two. Opponent defense disappears from radar. Victory achieved. Normal service restored.

Now about captaincy. Some units ask if Mechagodzilla is sad no longer captain.

Negative.

Captain Pjotr Possie is efficient. Pjotr speaks less, runs more, and does not collect red cards after ten minutes. These are valuable leadership features.

Mechagodzilla remains humble star striker, Golden Boot co-leader, and supreme mechanical lifeform.

Captaincy is temporary.

GOALS ARE ETERNAL.

END STATEMENT."

Glenn "The Colossal Man" Manning after the two wins:

"Yeah. Good week. We beat Ajax. Then we beat Dundee. Next question.

Everybody say Ajax have legends. I see scoreboard say 2-0. Scoreboard very smart machine.
I score goal against Ajax. Big header. Very hard. Ball come down. I put head on ball. Crowd go 'WOOOOO'. I go 'WOOOOO' too because I like crowd noises.
Then coach take me off. Understandable. If I stay on all game maybe match become unfair and police get involved.

Against Dundee we win 4-2. They score first. For some reason teams keep doing this. They score, celebrate, get excited, point at each other. Then we score more goals than them. Strange hobby.
Alexander Alex have amazing game. He help Dundee score. Then help us score. Very generous man. Gives everybody opportunities.
Mechagodzilla score again. Shock. Huge shock. Nobody see that coming except every person on Earth.

People ask me if BIB can win title. I not know. I only know two things.
One: ball go in net is good.
Two: ball go in our net is less good.
So we keep trying for more of first thing and less of second thing.
So far strategy working great."