No comment on the cup group. Elsewhere…

#7: AFC vs BIB 0-2

Q&A with Mechagodzilla

Journalist: “Mechagodzilla, how would you describe your performance today?”
Mechagodzilla: “Functional. Inputs received, outputs delivered. No anomalies detected.”

Journalist: “Your two goals looked… powerful. Was that intentional?”
Mechagodzilla: “Force application was within acceptable parameters. Goalkeeper structural integrity remained intact. This time.”

Journalist: “AFC claimed you were ‘emotionless’ in your celebrations.”
Mechagodzilla: “Correct. Emotion module disabled to conserve energy. Celebration provides no competitive advantage.”

#8: BIB vs DUB 2-0

The Coach’s Voice

Well, another tactical masterpiece from us. Let Dublin rattle the crossbar three times in the first half so Tommy Olsson could feel involved — all perfectly intentional. People call it ‘luck’. I call it ‘advanced defensive choreography’.

At halftime I made the bold decision to replace a giant metal striker with Brian Koning, who naturally scored with his first wildly ambitious shot. Coaching genius or goalkeeper nap? Who can say.

And Navigating finishing it off in the 88th minute — pure professionalism, waiting until Dublin were emotionally fragile before scoring again.

Top of the table. Totally normal. Nothing suspicious.

Three Giants, No Brains: Scouting Team Finally Fired

What an absolute circus. We bring in three “giants” and somehow manage to go 0 for 3. Mothra already flapped her useless wings straight to Orgullo — good riddance. Bencawr moves like he’s buffering in real life. And Mokele‑Mbembe? The original was a disaster, so we literally had to clone him just to get a version that can walk and chew gum at the same time.

And now the club pretends this outcome was unforeseeable. Please. Any fan with a pulse could see these signings were a slow‑motion catastrophe. At least firing the scouting team proves someone at BIB is still awake.