Lisburn City finally cracked open the Maestros, but only after spending much of the evening making Merrylee goalkeeper The Fort look like a man auditioning for superhero duties.

The visitors arrived with attacking ambitions apparently left on the team bus, failing to muster a single shot all game. Lisburn dominated from start to finish and should have been ahead before the break, with Jim Murray and Johnny Crossan both denied by the inspired Fort.

The breakthrough came three minutes into the second half when Jim Murray hooked the ball on and Jeremy Doku bravely headed home from close range. From then on it became the Andy McDonald Deckchair Appreciation Society, as The Fort produced save after save to keep the score respectable.

Crossan went close repeatedly, Aaron Cochrane added fresh energy, and Bernardo Silva marshalled the rare Maestros advances with authority.

A deserved three points and a clean sheet, though The Fort ensured the scoreline looked far tighter than the match itself.

Quote of the day:

“If The Fort had been any stronger, we’d have needed planning permission to break him down.” 😄

Lisburn City suffered a miserable afternoon in Sheffield as two goals inside the opening six minutes left the Distillers chasing shadows. Epic Stan-Lee put the Bulldogs ahead after just 60 seconds before Rapid Jim doubled the lead almost immediately, exposing a shaky visiting defence.

Carl Oakes’ side never really recovered. Johnny Crossan and Jim Murray were well marshalled, while goalkeeper Hands Save lived up to his name, denying the few chances that came Lisburn’s way. Nicolăs Otamendi and John Heron fought gamely at the back, with Andy McDonald making four saves to prevent an even heavier defeat.

Changes at the interval improved matters, but any hopes of a comeback vanished when Stan-Lee headed home his second on 69 minutes.

Adding insult to injury, both Gareth Barry and Johnny Crossan picked up bookings that rule them out of the next match.

“We started like we’d arrived at Bramall Lane by carrier pigeon and spent the rest of the afternoon trying to remember where we’d parked the team bus.” – A weary Carl Oakes.

For 88 minutes Lisburn City and Ye Olde Spurs served up the footballing equivalent of two heavyweight boxers circling each other while refusing to throw a proper punch. Spurs enjoyed the better first half, but Scott Carson produced three excellent saves and had a helping hand from Glyn Pardoe, whose interventions repeatedly rescued the visitors.

Managerial changes at the break transformed the Distillers. Bernardo Silva steadied the defence while Aaron Cochrane and Johnny Crossan injected life into the attack. Cochrane twice went close and Damien Kelly forced Tony Parks into a fine save, but the veteran keeper stood firm to earn man of the match.

With nothing separating the sides after ninety minutes, the drama moved to penalties. There, Carson became the hero. He saved efforts from Mathys Tel, Glenn Hoddle and Xavi Simons, while Crossan, Jeremy Doku and Cochrane all kept their nerve. A 3-0 shootout triumph sent Lisburn through after a tense stalemate.

Quote of the day:

“Scott Carson only had three saves to make all evening. He just decided to make them twice.” 😄

For 45 minutes, this looked like a proper contest. By full-time, it looked as though Lisburn City had accidentally wandered into a shooting practice session.

The New Saints started brightly and deservedly took the lead when Jordan Williams coolly chipped Andy McDonald after racing onto a through ball. The Distillers responded through Jim Murray, whose towering header restored parity and sent the sides in level at the break.

Then came the avalanche.

Jeremy Doku’s outrageous cross-cum-shot somehow bounced in off the woodwork to put Lisburn ahead before Johnny Crossan unleashed a thunderbolt three minutes later. Damien Kelly pounced after Nathan Shepherd spilled another Doku effort, and Aaron Cochrane’s powerful header completed a devastating four-goal burst in just 19 second-half minutes.

The scoreline could easily have been even worse were it not for a few desperate defensive interventions from the Welsh visitors.

Andy McDonald earned Man of the Match with four important saves, while Doku, Cochrane and Crossan tore the Saints apart after the interval. The New Saints arrived as favourites on paper, but left looking as if they’d taken a wrong turn and wandered into a hurricane.

Quote of the Day:
“At half-time we discussed a few tactical tweaks. We didn’t realise one of them involved turning Jeremy Doku into a guided missile.” – Lisburn dressing room source. 😄

Lisburn City’s afternoon in the orchard turned into a rotten harvest as Orchard Park Thistle handed the Distillers a bruising 4-0 defeat.

The warning signs were there early. Andy McDonald produced a superb block-saving intervention through Gary Wray’s desperate defending before Eric Jones headed the hosts in front after 17 minutes. Any hopes of a comeback were effectively torpedoed eight minutes later when Tommy McCracken lost his cool, swung an elbow at Jones and was shown a straight red card.

Down to ten men, Lisburn fought gamely but rarely threatened. Jones struck again on the hour mark before substitute Captain Scotland added a third seven minutes later. Joe Douglass completed the rout late on after another flowing Orchard Park move.

Johnny Crossan battled hard in midfield and Andy McDonald made three saves, but Lisburn managed just a single shot on target all afternoon. The statistics told a grim tale as Orchard Park outshot the visitors 8-1.

Man of the Match: Eric Jones, whose two goals and commanding display ran the show from start to finish.

Quote of the Day: “The team bus got sent off after 25 minutes too… it just hadn’t received the paperwork yet.” 🚍😖